| Swinger's Dicktionary: |
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Dicktionary: Below are commonly used words and abbreviations used in the swinging and alternative lifestyles. I am always reading profiles and many times have came across abbreviations or wording that I didn't understand. Because boundaries, rules, interests, likes and dislikes are so very important in this lifestyle it prompted me to put together a dictionary so that others like me would have a resource to turn to if they found themselves unsure of what someone was into and or looking for. I hope you find this to be a great tool and it can be as beneficially for you as it was for me. This is a list I have comprised on my own over 15 years of being in the lifestyle but by NO-MEANS a complete list of all terms you might encounter, so if you have something you would like to add Please click on the contact us link above and give us your input as my hope is that someday this will be a tool that is complete and informative. |
AC/DC: Person who enjoys both same sex and opposite sex, sexual activity; Bi; Bisexual. ADULT: Euphemism for pornographic. AGE PLAY: This is a fetish that is becoming more popular and accepted daily. In most cases 1 party has a fantasy of being young and wants to be dominated by someone "playing the part" of an older individual. Role Playing. Some examples include, Teacher and student and or Daddy and Daddy's girl. This has nothing to do with incest or any type of sexual desires about children but rather playing the part or acting. Being free of the restraints of being yourself. Full filling your fantasies. ALL CULTURES: Person or couple who enjoys all fetishes and sexual activities (see CULTURE) ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE: Engaging in activities that would be deemed abnormal or that stray from what society considers a "Normal Marriage". This can be something as simple as a foot fetish (someone who is turned on sexually by the look and or feel of the human foot) and goes to the extreme of living in a committed relationship with 20 people. If its not a man and a woman having sex with only each other in the missionary position its usually considered an alternative lifestyle. AMERICAN CULTURE: Man on top, the missionary position. ANAL SEX: Anal intercourse; see Greek, Greek Culture. ANGLINGS: Oral contact or stimulation of the anus of one partner by kissing, licking, or sucking of the other. ANIMAL TRAINING: Sexual activity with animals, usually dogs and women; Bestiality ARTS: Euphemism for fetishes; Cultures |
B&D or B/D: Bondage and discipline; use of various methods to restrain someone while administering discipline, usually done by a master to his/her slave (see BONDAGE, DISCIPLINE) BDSM: Bondage Discipline, Sadist, Masochist BBW: Big Beautiful Woman; Referring to women that may not be their ideal weight, but are comfortable with the size that they are. BESTIALITY: (see ANIMAL TRAINING) BI~Bisexual: Versatile. A person rather male or female that is comfortable with and desires having sexual encounters with someone of the same sex as well as the opposite sex (see AC/DC for further details) BI-CURIOUS: A Male or Female who is interested in trying same-sex activities, but is not sure if this is a lifestyle choice they will enjoy but the desire is there. BIZARRE: Unusual sexual desires that society deem outside the "Norm" BHM: Big Handsome Man. This is someone who is anywhere from a few pounds overweight to morbidly obese. They are comfortable with themselves and usually fabulous fun loving folks. BONDAGE: A sexual fetish in which restraints such as ropes, chains, cloth or leather straps are used to bind, tie or hold a participating sexual partner. The person doing the binding is considered dominant while the person being bound is considered submissive. BOTTOM: Definition 1.) when used in a male sexual encounter: This term is used to describe the preference of giver or receiver in a male/male sexual encounter. Bottom represents the person who wants to receive anal sex. Definition 2.) When used in the BDSM lifestyle: This term is used to represent the person who is submitting, or obeying during a scene or encounter. The one following instruction and obeying orders. This can have a WIDE range meaning and you should always be sure to ask questions before engaging in play. BOYFRIEND IN THE SWINGING SENSE: When a couple opens their relationship (see open relationship for full definition) and the female partner finds a male playmate that she develops feelings for. This is with full consent of the husband. This relationship is out in the open and accepted by all involved. This can be purely on a "dating" level or as serious as a live in companion to the couple. The boyfriend is not a replacement simply an addition. BOY TOY: A male partner that you play with and or have sexual encounters with on a regular basis with no romantic or emotional ties. Simply to gain sexual satisfaction. BUSH WHACKING: The act and or art of shaving someone's genitals. Most people take their time shaving their partner and this is usually a form of foreplay leading to and ending in sexual activity of some sort. |
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CAN ENTERTAIN: Advertiser willing to invite others to their home for swinging. CAN TRAVEL: Advertiser willing to travel to your home to swing. CANING: A spanking fetish employing a light cane usually bamboo or other light wood. CHEATING: Sexual activity with others without spouse's knowledge and/or consent. CLEAN: Hygienic; Free of sexually transmitted diseases. CLOSED DOOR: (see CLOSED SWINGING) CLOSED SWINGING: Sexual interaction among couples using separate rooms, usually in the same house. Provides a maximum of privacy. CLOSED EVENT: When in reference to a swinger event or party, this means that everyone in attendance is in or at least curious about the lifestyle. Closed event bares the same meaning. You can approach everyone there without having to worry about rather or not they are there for the same thing you are. CLOSET SWINGER: A person who hides the fact that he/she is a swinger. (see DISCREET) COLLARED: If you read a profile and it says that someone in the relationship is collared this means that they belong to Or are "owned" by a dominate. They are in a Dominant Submissive Relationship. This doesn't mean you have to be into BDSM to play with them, or that they participate in BDSM activities while they are swinging. It simply means that the Dominant wants to/needs to be asked before touching the collared submissive. This is no different than simple swinging etiquette of asking before you touch. Do not let this scare you away just be mindful when touching. COUPLE: In swinging, a man and a woman. May be married, living together (cohabitation), committed (on going relationship) or a couple dating for swinging purposes, on an ongoing basis. CPL: Stands for Couple (see COUPLE) CROSS DRESSING/CROSS DRESSER: Someone who enjoys dressing up as the opposite sex. This does not always mean that the individual is bi-sexual or gay in all cases. Some people only cross dress when they attend events, some only cross dress in private and some live that way 24/7. CUCKOLD: While the original meaning is the husband of a wife who cheats, it has come to mean (more often than not) a husband who's wife plays without him and comes home to tell him about it. It can also mean a husband who watches his wife play with others, or is forced to watch. This can also be reversed on the wife. Since different people use the word to mean different things, it is best to ask the people using the word in order to clarify the definition. CULTURE: Euphemism for Fetish or Arts. CUNNILINGUS: Stimulation of the vagina and clitoris by the mouth especially the tongue and lips, and sometimes the teeth (see FRENCH CULTURE) |
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D/D FREE: This is the most common abbreviation used in profiles today. It means Drug and Disease Free. Most swingers are tested frequently and practice safe sex. This is a simple way to let other people know that you do not use illegal drugs and that you have a clean bill of health. DILDO: An artificial penis, usually made of rubber or plastic, for sexual stimulation of the vagina and sometimes the anus. DIRECTOR: The term used to describe the principal person who runs or otherwise operates a swing club, generally the owner. A person who works for the director and is responsible for party or club operation whether or not for pay, is generally called a Manager. DISCIPLINE: A sexual fetish in which one partner dominates the other, a willing participant. Often includes physical punishment of the submissive partner, ranges from physical restraint to mild spankings to painful beatings. DISCREET OR DISCRETION: Asking those who write or call to exercise caution so that children or others who may open mail or answer phone will not be offended and/or made aware of the swinging activity. DOCILE: Willing to receive bondage and/or discipline (see SUBMISSIVE). DOMESTIC TRAINING: Submissive obedience to household chores of an intimate and humiliating nature. DOMINANT: A sexual partner in control of a willing submissive partner. |
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ENGLISH CULTURE: Sexual stimulation from spanking or caning ENTERTAIN: (see CAN ENTERTAIN) EROTIC: Arousing sexual feelings: arousing, or designed to arouse, feelings of sexual desire EROTICA: sexually explicit material: art or literature intended to arouse sexual desire by portraying sex in an explicit way. See also pornography EROTICISM: an erotic quality in something, especially an erotic style or subject in literature or art EXHIBITIONIST: Behavior in which an individual experiences sexual arousal or pleasure from displaying his/her body. Enjoys being watched. ECSTASY: 1. Intense delight: a feeling of intense delight an evening of pure ecstasy. 2. Intense feeling or activity: a feeling or activity characterized by its extreme intensity an ecstasy of remorse. 3. Psychology loss of self-control: a mental state, usually caused by intense religious experience, or sexual pleasure, in which somebody is so dominated by an emotion that self-control and sometimes consciousness are lost The very moment when you loose all control of your mind, and body. Pleasure that is beyond the normal realm of being. EXOTIC: Someone or something that is strange or unusual. Not common |
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FEMALE FELLATIO: Sexual stimulation of the penis by the mouth, especially by the tongue and lips and sometimes teeth. FETISH: Sexual arousal and pleasure through use of non-sexual objects, actions or non-genital anatomy. FLAGELLATION: Sexual stimulation derived from pain, usually whipping or spanking. FRENCH CULTURE: Oral-genital sexual activity; (see Fellatio, Cunnilingus) FULL SWAP: Also referred to as Hard swinging OR Hard swap. While Swinging the participants are willing to completely engage in sexual intercourse with someone other than their partner FUN AND GAMES: Euphemism for sexual activity. |
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GAY: A homosexual person, male or female. A gay female may also be called a Lesbian. GBM: Gay Black Male GENEROUS: Refers to money for sex. GIRL ON GIRL SOFT SWAP: Usually means that only the female in the cpl participates sexually while swinging. Generally the male or males in the relationships sit and watch or participate ONLY with their own partner. If someone represents themselves as Girl/Girl soft swap PLEASE take the time to ask what their rules are specifically. Its much better to ask to many questions than to assume and ruin what could have been a fantastic experience. GREEK CULTURE: Anal-penile intercourse GROUP ROOM: Room set aside for group sex, generally furnished with wall-to-wall mattresses or pads. Term is prevalent in western US (see MATROOM). GROUP SEX: Swinging; Sexual activity between three or more people.GWM:Gay White Male |
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HARD CORE: A swing party or swing engagement where sexual interaction is assumed and expected. HARD SWINGING: (see HARD CORE) HEAD: Oral-genital sexual activity, Giving head (see French Culture) HEDONIST: Someone who lives for pleasure. HETEROSEXUAL: Sexual attraction to members of the opposite sex. HOMOSEXUAL: Sexual attraction to members of the same sex. (See GAY) HORNY: Sexually tense; In need of sexual pleasure. HUNG: Refers to a man with a large penis. HWP: Height-Weight Proportionate; Someone who is at their ideal body weight. |
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INDOOR: Swinging activities in general INDOOR SPORTS: (See INDOOR) INTERESTED IN FRIENDSHIP: Seeks a swinging relationship that includes emotional and recreational values. IRL: In Real Life; Used in ads or online chat ISO: In Search Of; Used in ads, example: MWC ISO SF. (married white couple In Search Of Single Female) |
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KINK or KINKY: Sexually deviant: being or engaging in unusual sexual practices that may be considered deviant. Sexually provocative: intended to be provocative or sexually alluring, usually by being deliberately unusual or bizarre. Eccentric: behaving in an unusual, idiosyncratic way (informal). Sexual oddity: an unusual sexual practice, especially one that might be considered deviant (slang) |
LEATHER: A fetish; Sexual stimulation through the wearing or touching of leather or leather garments. LESBIAN: A woman sexually and emotionally attracted to other women. (see GAY) LTR: Long Term Relationship, A couple that although is not married they are in a long term committed relationship. |
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MARITAL AIDS: Dildo's, vibrators, and other devices used for sexual pleasure of self and others. MASOCHISM: Sexual gratification through receiving pain and humiliation from others. MASTER/SLAVE: Participants in a bondage and discipline sexual relationship. (see B&D, BONDAGE, DISCIPLINE) MASTURBATION: The act of personal sexual gratification. MATROOM: Room set aside for group sex. Principally an eastern US term (see GROUP ROOM). MEET FOR PLEASURE: Will meet for swinging sex; no pretense for social or emotional interaction not directly related to sexual activity. MENAGE A' TROIS: Three people, two of one sex, one of the opposite sex in a swinging interaction. (see THREESOME, TRIAD) MFM 3 SOME: Sexual activities including a Male, female, and a Male. This DOES not mean that the males engage in any sexual acts with each other, simply that a female is wanting to be in a situation with 2 men. MORESOMES: More than three people in a swinging interaction. (see GROUP SEX) MBC: Married Black Couple MBiC: Married Bisexual Couple MWC: Married White Couple MUTUAL MASTURBATION: When 2 or more people sexually satisfy themselves without touching each other but in the same room. |
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NASCA: The North American Swing Club Association. An association of swing clubs and magazines to promote swinging as the viable and beneficial lifestyle it has become. Levels of members: Affiliate Club, General, Associate and Institutional for swing clubs and magazines, general swinging community, media and institutions of learning and research. NEWBIES: Anyone rather single or part of a couple that is either new to the swinging lifestyle, B.D.S.M lifestyle, or just new to our club. NEWCOMERS: New people in swinging; First-timers. NONSMOKER: Does not smoke. If used in personal ad means only those who do not smoke are sought for swinging purposes. |
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OFF-PREMISE: No swinging takes place at the club or party; you meet and make your own arrangements. Great for newcomers. These type of events are usually held in a public place like a nightclub or bar. These are strictly social events that usually don't have any type of organized activities. Just a place to meet and talk. OPEN DOOR: (see OPEN SWINGING) OPEN SWINGING: A couple swinging with another couple in the same room; Several or all participating couples together in the same room. A minimum of privacy. OPEN MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP: This can mean a wide range of things but almost always means that 1 or both members of the relationship, play and or swing alone or on their own. There are generally less restrictions and in some cases the parties are looking for or willing to form other relationships outside of the marraige/relationship. For a relationship to be considered open BOTH parties must know and be approving of all activities sexual or romantic that take place outside of the marriage. WITH CONSENT! ORAL-GENITAL: (see FRENCH CULTURE, CUNNILINGUS, FELLATIO, HEAD) ORGY: Sexual interaction among several men and women in the same room; Complete absence of inhibition in everyone taking part; group sex. |
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PARTY: Gathering of three or more people of both sexes for swinging. PARTY CLOTHES: Clothing particularly adapted for swing parties, costumes. Includes wear to the party and wear to change into during the party. This includes robes, lingerie, terry cloth wrap-rounds and other simple wear that is easily removed, shows the wearer to best advantage and often makes selected parts of the body easily available for erotic courting and play. PARTY HOUSE (Western US): A non-membership swing club offering a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties. PASSIVE: Quiet, submissive non-contributor, willing to receive corrective training. Docile and submissive in swinging. (see DISCIPLINE) PHOTO: Interested in exchange of nude or sexually explicit photos of self with similar photos of others. PHOTOGRAPHY: Interested in exchange and/or making of nude or sexually explicit photographs, color slides or movies with similar photographs, slides or movies of others; interested in meeting with others for the making of these photographs. P/P: Photo and phone number (used in personal ads). POLYAMORY: Also known and often refereed to as "Poly". A committed relationship that involves 3 or more people. In many cases it is a multi person family that contains several relationships all with varying dynamics. But all parties are equally committed as a whole. PRO: Professional; i.e. Prostitutes or paid escorts. |
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RAPE FANTASY: A completely rehearsed, consensual, sexual encounter where 1 person is rendered helpless playing the victim, while another takes on the role of the dominant aggressor. Do not misunderstand the meaning if you see this on someone's profile, It DOES not mean that they want to be raped as an unwilling participant and no one should EVER get involved in a fantasy of this nature unless all involved know each other very well, all parties have talked about and agree to the acts and boundaries, and you are guaranteed that everyone involved is a willing participant. RECREATIONAL SWINGER: A person who practices swinging primarily as a recreational diversion; not interested in forming any long term friendship or emotional attachment. RESTRAINT: Mild bondage used in sexual fantasy enactments. ROLE PLAYING: Acting out or pretending to be something other than you are. This can involve costumes, scripts, aliases, or just fantasizing while engaging in a sexual act of some kind. Some examples: Dr/Patient, Teacher/Student, Police Officer/Criminal etc. Some Role playing can extend for hours and involve props and staging. ROMAN CULTURE: Sexual orgies RUBBER: Condom means of contraception; sexual stimulation through the look, feel and smell of rubber. |
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SADISM: Sexual gratification through inflicting pain and humiliation on others. SAFE: Used to describe a person who cannot conceive or impregnate; a man who has had a vasectomy; Naturally or surgically sterile. S.A.S.E. Self-addressed stamped envelope. SBF: Single Black Female SBiF: Single Bisexual Female SBM: Single Black Male SGL: (see SINGLE) S&M or S/M:Sadism and Masochism (see SADISM, MASOCHISM). SINGLE: A swinger without a partner, does not refer to marital status. SOCIAL: A party, dance or other gathering usually sponsored by a swing club or magazine, for swingers to meet and socialize. There is no swinging at a social, but privately arranged swinging may follow a social. SOCIAL SWING CLUB: A swing club, generally private membership that offers social and swinging activities including a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties. They may also offer educational and travel activities. Usually there is a membership fee and either party fees, party donations or a regular maintenance fee or dues. Party attendance may be restricted to couples though the marital status of the couple is rarely important. SODOMY: Non-coital, especially anal or oral, copulation with either an opposite sex or same sex partner. SOFT SWINGERS: Couples who only have intercourse with their own partner. No swapping for intercourse. SOFT SWINGING, Soft Swap: The term used to describe same-room sex, watching/being watched, or any sexual encounter up to, but not including intercourse, with someone other than your spouse. The first experience for many couples is usually some type of soft-swinging. (see HARD SWINGING, HARD CORE). SRS: Same Room Sex - Engaging in sexual activity in the same room with others. In some cases everyone is having sex with their own partner. In other cases everyone swaps partners. But couples who have same room sex never engage in sexual activity of any kind without the other present. STD: Sexually Transmitted Disease. A term developed in the late 1970's to replace VD as the latter carried social and moral implications in the minds of many. These social and moral implications interfered with the legitimate treatment of sexually transmitted diseases as a medical problem. STR or STR8: (see STRAIGHT) STRAIGHT: Any person who is not interested in engaging in homosexual activity or A person who does not use drugs; also used by swingers to denote non-swinging people. SUBMISSIVE: Passive, wishes to be dominated (see Passive) SWAPPING: Two couples exchanging partners for sexual activity. SWEDISH CULTURE: Use of the hands especially in massage to sexually stimulate another person. SWF: Single White Female SWING MAGAZINE: A periodical catering to the swinging community. Usually carries personal ads of people wishing to meet others for swinging purposes. May also publish articles of general interest to the swinging community. SWINGING: An alternative lifestyle for consenting adults who enjoy social, recreational sexual activities with others, most often on a couple-to-couple basis, with full knowledge and mutual consent of both partners; single men and women are sometimes involved. SWINGING LIFESTYLE: Style of living with swinging as a major component in recreation, choice of friends, business and social life, and intimate relationships. SWINGING MARRIAGE: Marriage incorporating swinging and often, humanistic ideals. SWM: Single White Male |
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TAN: Tested Antibody Negative for HIV virus (AIDS) THREESOME: Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a swinging encounter. (see Menage a Trois) TICKET: A person, usually a woman, brought to a swing party solely to enable the male to gain entrance. The ticket generally has no intention to swing or is not free to swing. TOYS: Sexual aids (see MARITAL AIDS) TRANSSEXUAL: Individual who has undergone conversion from one gender to another through surgery and hormone treatments; or one who is in the process of gender conversion. TRANSVESTITE: A person who receives sexual gratification by wearing clothes identified with the opposite sex; not necessarily homosexual. TRAVEL: (see CAN TRAVEL) TRIAD: Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a continuing relationship of emotional and sexual involvement. Not the same as a threesome. TRIOLISM: Used in personal ads to indicate desire for threesomes. This is a common but confusing usage. TUBAL LIGATION: Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the fallopian tubes to make a woman infertile. Also called a Band Aid Operation in reference to the small incision made just below the navel to enable the cutting and ligation. |
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UTOPIAN SWINGER: A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals. |
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VANILLA: This is a very widely used term used to describe people who either don't know about, don't approve of, or do not participate in the swinging lifestyle. This is such a commonly used term that it is recognised and holds the same meaning in almost every lifestyle. VASECTOMY: Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the vas deferens to artificially sterilize a male. VERSATILE: Bisexual. (see AC/DC) VIBRATOR: Electrically run vibrating device for stimulation of the vagina by insertion or holding up to the outer lips, clitoris, breasts and the male penis. Some vibrators are penile shaped and are run by batteries while more expensive ones are for surface use and are run by an AC motor from a typical wall outlet. Vibrators are used by both men and women for self-stimulation and to sexually please another. VOLUPTUOUS: Fullness of beauty and form; usually used to refer to a woman with large well-formed breasts; may also refer to full but well formed hips. VOYEUR: A person who enjoys watching others in sexual acts. VOYEURISM: Sexual gratification by watching or peeping at others engaged in sexual activity. |
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WATER SPORTS: Well I have gotten several meanings for this words in my research and through the lifestyle experience I have. Most people agree that it means any act involving urine. Golden Showers are a good example of this. The alternate to this is that it represents the act of squirting. Squirting is when a certain spot inside the female body is triggered, the result is a gush of fluid that is uncontrolled by the female and usually causes the woman to loose control even if only for a matter of seconds. Most women are not capable of doing this. WAY-OUTS/ WEIRDOS: Those people interested in activities usually considered by the majority to be bizarre, kinky, unusual, or unconventional. |
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| NOTES: I'm sure the above as been information overload. I hope that you took the time to read all that we have provided and hope that in the future this becomes a useful resource for you. Again there are Thousands of terms we do not have listed on here. If you feel that something is missing from this Dicktionary please drop us a line. We would love to hear from you! Thank You ~APG OWNERS~ |
